Eat your heart out, Chuck E. Cheese, this band was the really creepy first.
Sure, I loved this band as a kid back in the '90s but it creeps me the heck out now.
I mean, holy crap, just look at the sinister facial expressions on the animatronic characters jammin' out on stage. At any given moment, they can come to life, and murder everyone in the pizzeria. It's all in a day's work for these creepy robotic rock stars.
I don't remember much about the quality of the food at Pistol Pete's Pizza because I was too busy running around, throwing tokens into the arcade machines, asking my parents for more tokens, scouring the floor for abandoned tickets, and keeping a close eye on the band — who was known as The Rock-afire Explosion.
The Horrifying Backstory
The band originally played in ShowBiz Pizza Place restaurants from 1980 to 1992, but once they were finished annihilating the ears of parents in Orlando, Florida, they moved on to other pizza places around the country.
The venue that the murderous creatures initially performed in went through some rebranding and the show was sold to other restaurants. The gang packed up and began playing their terrifying tunes at places such as Circus Pizza, Billy Bob's Wonderland, and Pistol Pete's Pizza. I was unaware of their cross country journey and assumed they were only at Pistol Pete's Pizza, but I feel emphathy for anyone they managed to lay their hands on.
The Band Consisted of the Following:
Billy Bob Brockali - Bass/Vocals (a bear in overalls)
Looney Bird - Vocals (a bird hiding in an oil drum)
Dook LaRue – Drums / Vocals (a dog who wants to go to space)
Fatz Geronimo – Keyboards / Vocals (a silverback gorilla)
Beach Bear – Guitar / Vocals (a "surfer" polar bear)
Mitzi Mozzarella – Vocals (a mouse dressed as a cheerleader)
Additionally, Rolfe DeWolfe and Earl Schmerle were part of the act.
They mostly smoked Marlboro reds, drank from a shared flask, and scouted the area for who they were going to murder first. All of this happened while the band was jamming out, and in between musical sets, they'd performed a stand-up comedy act.
Where Are They Now?
There are rumors that the FBI became suspicious because of scattered blood trails, random kid-sized shoes left in the parking lot, and an uptick in missing children throughout the country. The band performed one last time before selling all of their songs to a gigantic rat that was dabbling in the pizza restaurant business.
The Rock-afire Explosion hasn't been seen since the '90s, but there's word you can still see them poking their heads around the lobbies of several Chuck E. Cheese's nationwide — attempting to get "tables for one."
Pistole Pete hasn't been seen since either. A little birdie in an oil drum went public, though, on his potential involvement in the serial killings and disappearances. Although, there's no proof or evidence to back that claim.
If you'd like to know the REAL story of these creepy robots, someone actually took the time to make a documentary about it. I mean, it's possible the film was made to clear their names and stop the spread of any other "rumors."
DISCLAIMER: This story is fake.
By Matthew Sterner.
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