"Let every action you take be a vote for the type of person you wish to become."
-James Clear
(Photo courtesy of @mr.babies)
You were likely taught early on what it means to worry about how you're perceived by others.
Fourth grade was brutal for me.
The fixation on being liked, approved of, or not being made fun of for being different is real. It's confusing and it's painful, and it's one of the toughest habits to break, often being at the root of more in your face addictions and heavy, underlying depression.
Like all other habits, though, the addiction to appeasing and appealing to others is one that can be redirected and the grip let loose.
What does that take?
Rediscovering and unapologetically exposing your authentic self takes courage. It takes dedication to your Self, and it takes awareness to keep you accountable for the reasons behind the decisions that you make throughout your days.
Do you often find that your choices reflect a want to be seen and accepted by those around you? Or are your choices initiated by the embodiment of true joy and excitement for celebrating your individual you?
If the latter is your truth, way to do the work and congratulations! Let that embodiment include compassion as you light the way for others.
If your truth is nearer to option one, you're likely aware of the weight associated with those choices and how tiring it can be to maintain that mentality.
How can you course-correct the thought path that prioritizes the acceptance of others?
Some exercises to help you tip the scale in favor of your authentic self include:
Guided meditation focused on letting go and increasing self-confidence and courage. Often what keeps people seeking external approval is the subconscious need for control by way of being accepted by others. To surrender to that false need for control is to clear space for our truest self to be supported.
Journaling with the intention of clearing those moments of internal struggle out from the mind and onto paper. Once out of the cluttered overwhelm of the mind, they can be acknowledged as something separate from you and with greater discernment and clarity.
Mindfulness. When you go to make a choice, from what you wear to what you buy to how many of your nights involve drinking.....what is your why behind your decisions? Stay honest and stay alert as to your reasoning. And, one choice at a time, let them shift to reflect your true, authentic self.
It's normal and acceptable to witness the rise in worry about "losing" those around you as you begin to make choices that more greatly express your authentic self. But remind yourself ruthlessly:
"You will be too much for some people. Those aren't your people."
Never be afraid to be "too much" you.
In fact, be as much you as possible! Shamelessly.
And trust the guarantee that I offer you.....your true people will always show up to support you in that mission.
Honor your why.
Celebrate your authenticity.
Ps. The following links offer further practices, insights and guidance for nurturing and cultivating your true self:
Any episode from the Don't Keep Your Day Job Podcast! Seriously, take your pick.
Comments